Tag Archives: bingeing

I Stopped.

This is hard. I’m struggling today. I know that it’s just one day, this too shall pass. I’m a bit weary. I’ve eaten in a bingeing fashion. Not tons and not for hours, but it happened.

I think my trigger was that I skipped breakfast because I was busy. That started me thinking that I deserved to have something extra. So I ate some cold pasta which is one of my favorite things, then I put it away. Then I got it back out of the fridge and finished it off. I also had a bowl of cereal and some nachos. I stopped.

I stopped. That’s the thing. I stopped. I’m not sick-full. I stopped. I could have gone so much further as I have often done in the past, but I stopped.

I stopped.

I was wrong, but I was right…

So my last post was all about feeling inspired and excited about the future and being positive. And then the next day happened. Nothing major, no horrible events, just life. I felt gross, I felt sick, I felt defeated and discouraged. So what did I do? You bet, I ate. For about four days, I just didn’t care. I counted no calories, I read no labels.

I still made better choices than I usually do when I go into binge mode, which makes me hopeful and happy. I didn’t give up, I knew that I was going to continue the journey. I didn’t eat until I was sick. I still exercised for five days last week. I got a lot done in my home. I did not lose myself to the binge.

So I was wrong in some ways, my first big battle came sooner than I had hoped it would, but I was right in that the face of the war is changing. I’m changing. I have better weapons, I’m getting stronger.

We’ll see what my weigh-in holds for me on Wednesday. I’m back to making good choices, counting those calories. I’m continuing the journey. I’m thankful for change.

Monday, Monday

So I know the difference when I am just not counting calories and when I veer into bingeing territory. I took some time off this weekend and I started off with just taking it easy, but by Sunday I was bingeing. I didn’t necessarily eat a lot, though I certainly consumed more calories than I usually do. I was eating and I wasn’t hungry, I was eating and it was because I wasn’t tracking that I wanted to eat everything I don’t usually have in a day. I work hard to not deny myself anything I want – I just save the calories. I just can’t have huge portions or have it all in one day.

I get so fed up with food addiction – it’s such a lame thing to be addicted to. Not that I want to be addicted to anything else, but it’s so frustrating to be addicted. The lack of control over is so hard. Why can’t I just not put the food into my mouth?

Anyway, I’m still struggling a bit today – not bingeing, but I’ve grabbed bites here and there. Bleh.

I am encouraging myself and deciding that one or two days of overeating doesn’t mean that I give up on the whole thing either for the day or for the week or for the year. A few bad choices doesn’t ruin my chances of success.

Making good, life-affirming choices for the rest of this day. One moment at a time.