I’m tired, I’m weary, I’m fed up.
I’ve struggled with my weight, my relationship with food, myself for so long. I have read and tried so many diets/plans/lifestyle programs and I am worse off than ever I was.
After looking into intuitive eating and the damage that is caused by dieting, I am terribly afraid of going on a diet. The last one I went on was a competition-based diet. I lost 13 pounds and have since regained all of it and feel like I am still responding to it by bingeing and compulsive eating. That was six months ago.
I’ve been waiting for something to click in my head and just “get” it. To be able to eat naturally and intuitively. Nothing has clicked. I am 41 years old and I haven’t figured this thing out.
I have so much knowledge and yet I feel like I fail so miserably in this area of my life.
I was talking to my husband yesterday about this and my renewed determination to change. I am going to be counting calories and tracking my workouts. I am going to work on good habits and focus on this area of my life. I said to him that although this new way of doing things isn’t “natural”, I didn’t become this heavy in a natural way either. It was the result of out of control eating. So for now, I am imposing some control on myself.
I am taking lessons learned from all the diets I’ve tried, all the books I’ve read and I’m making my own plan. I’ll outline that in a future post. While I do believe that diets are unhealthy overall and that they do more damage than good, there are things I’ve read and learned along the way that are helpful and healthful for me.
I am taking charge and doing the things that I know I can do, things that will move me forward. I know I don’t have all the answers now and I will face things in the future that I’m not sure how I’ll deal with, but I am doing something now and we’ll see where it leads.