Ah. The weekend wasn’t the worst, food-wise, but it wasn’t great. Then, yesterday, was completely sucky. I broke every “rule”, completely ignored my cues and felt miserable. When will I learn that food won’t really make me feel any better about life or myself?
Again, I am confronted by friends and people I know who are dieting and losing weight. I have a friend who starts Medifast tomorrow. It is so appealing to me. Just do something drastic to get a jump-start and then start eating intuitively. I want to have quick results. I know that it doesn’t work for me though. It is incredibly tempting.
It’s warming up here and so this morning I had the distinct displeasure of trying on shorts and capris. Hardly anything fit. Things that last year were fine. Sigh. So frustrating. I have so many fabulous clothes that I can’t wear. I love clothes and fashion and I find myself just looking for stuff that is comfy and covers me up.
I have been very sensitive to cues today and it’s tremendously empowering. I enjoy what I eat. It’s such a revolutionary concept if I can just learn to feed my emotional self in other ways besides food.
Anyway, I am feeling hopeful today. This is my life, these are my choices, I have choices. Thankful.
I’m tired. I have got to figure out this exhaustion thing if I am going to make changes in my life. It is so difficult.
Why can’t I feel satisfied when my body is satisfied? Getting this figured out will be key to being successful at changing my relationship with food.
Again, so tired.
I am feeling good about where I am going, but have so far to go. Mostly I just want to sleep. I’m also cold.
Happy, happy, cheerful post today.
It is what it is.
So I did pretty well yesterday. I responded to hunger cues when I needed to. Dinner, though, wasn’t a complete success. I was hungry when I started, but went beyond satisfied to a bit too full. Still, overall, I felt pretty good about yesterday.
Today, has been a bit iffy. Mostly doing ok. I had to deal with some jealousy this morning – regarding my son. Just some stuff with his schooling – he starts kindergarten in the Fall. I immediately felt the desire for my food drugs kick in. I started thinking about what I would eat for lunch when I got home. I proceeded with those plans, but I also tried to be very aware of what I was doing and allowed myself to do it. I also stopped before I had gone as far as I usually would have. I am believing that is progress.
Another thought on yesterday’s success. I get very cold when I don’t overeat. I need to keep this in mind for summer.
So for a very long time, I’ve known that Intuitive Eating is the answer to my weight issues. I’ve tried so many diets, programs, pills. I have temporary success only to rebel against the diet and regain it all, plus more. So I find myself at my heaviest in all my life. Feeling hopeless and helpless, but ready to give this a try.
I know that I have issues with food. I know most of the reasons and along with the intuitive eating principles, I will need to deal with and look at those issues.
I have half-heartedly been doing the intuitive eating (hereafter refered to as IE) thing for a couple fo months. Mostly just the giving myself permission to eat what I want and sort of listening to my body to know when I need to eat. I haven’t lost anything, but I haven’t gained either. Mostly because I don’t listen to the STOP cues!
So I have challenged myself (I love to have a challenge) to get very serious about IE for the next twelve weeks. Regardless of weekends or holidays. I was inspired by this quote that I saw on Pinterest… “It takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing, 8 weeks for your friends to notice, and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice. Give it 12 weeks. Don’t QUIT!”
I know so many people who have recently lost a lot of weight – they have done it with calorie counting, intense exercise and I just don’t think I can go down that road again. I need to make changes that will last, lifestyle changes. So here I go.
I totally porked out yesterday – a subconscious last meal.
I got hungry very early this morning which I love. I ate my homemade sausage muffin and a cup of coffee. We’ll see how long that lasts me.
My plan is to post here everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. Just gotta talk it out!